five gowlden rools in riting "the scrip" that wil help yew brake intwo "the biz"

I no scrip riting is hard. Reel hard.

Butt im gowing two assk yew two bee a liddle bit like mee and yewll be jus fine. Trus me;)

Sow, i thot id start with my five gowlden rools in riting "the scrip" that will help yew brake intwo "the biz":

1. fancee pant riters like john awegust allwayz say furst drafts suk. NOT TREW!!! The reezon why awegust and his ilk lyke two tell yew stuff like this is cos there affraid of compatishin. Im heer to tel yew that the furst draft is srip riting at its purest! Its wen yew, the riter, follow that gutt instinkt of yers. Yess sur! And mam! HAND IN YER FIRS DRAFT IT WILL BEE YER BEST
2. never re-reed yer wurk. Why? Wat gewd is it lewking bak intew the past? Lewk fourwerd. K? Fourget abowt yer last paidg and think abowt wat yewr gunna make fur dinner.
3. alwayz drink boowz wile riting. it helps with yer creeatifnes. I perfur anything fourty proof an hi-er;)
4. The best thiung abowt "spel chek" is the "ignor" butten.
5. lots ov dialog and lots of grate acshion paragrafs, like this liddle dittee frum my laitest scrip:

JON MAKLANE looks round him an seez lotsa BAD GUYS with GUNS POINTED AT him. He lewks @ hiz wach an seez itz stil werking. Butt whys hhe lookin at hiz wach? iz it to freek owt the baddees? Prolly. Anywayz, hez gowt won bull-et left in hiz gun (I fourgot two menshun that in the seen abowt six pages bak, he almost used up all his amunishin). he aims at won guy. pullz the TRIGGER and BANG gows the GUN and the BULL-ET splats the one guy in the hed, butt the bullet crashes owtof hiz skull. and THE BULLET BOWNSES round dee-flekting into all the baddeess. the last won-- rite befour the bullet hits him says:

                                                                             BADDEE
                                                      ohFUCK!!!
SPLAT bullet hits him in hiz eye sockett. Hes ded.
and Jon maklane lewks round him and smiles.
                                                                               JOHN
                                                      Yipee kuy a muthfucker!

Thatts rite guyz! this is a peece frum my new srip die Hard 5 or 6. I sent it two a big time prowdoocer abowt ateen months ago. Still wayting for the call, BUTT, i heer they are making a new die Hard moofy and I wunder if they chose my scrip. Thay must haf. Sow... yew guys are prolly reeding the blog of the new riter of DIE hArd!!!:)

Witch remins me: wen riting yer scrips, use lots ov bold and KAPS! it wil help with yer vishewls.

Untill necks time: keep riting!!!;-)