wat the hell happened? and the thurd act climax

Hay Guies

Soree I ve bin awae. Thanks four the consurned emails frum you, granma.

I musta eeten sumthing reel bad coz nex thing i no, i'm pewking up a storm of mashed potatowes and mac n cheese.

Lasted fur days.

I snuggled with my ate cats.

And wat is more important is this has sumthing two dew, ov curse, with riting. Spacifically screen riting.

And wat is that, yew all aks???

Thurd Act and that buwtaful thing called the Climax.

Befour, I waz a lot like yew all an thaut that climax waz a durty wurd four sume thing that may or may not happen during the intamacees beetween a man an a wuman, or watever yer prefance may bee -- this kina talk sumtimes gets mee imbarassed (unles im talking abowt makin sweet, sweet luv with megen fux_69 ;-O ).

Aneeways, as yew all no bi now, i'm a scrip riter not a scrip reeder, sowe i don reed all that much.

Butt, won thing sum ass in my ex-riting grewp (that's rite: ex... i browk up with those loozers, many of whom kissed so much ass there lips look like Angeleen Jolly an, yah, shore they wurk on sum dum netwek show an rite for stoopid film cumpanees called Lionsgaite-- what the hell is a liongaite anyways???)

Anyways these pratenshus "riters" uwsed to try and convince mee that to haf a grate ending, yew need a grate climax. Haf the audience leefe that theater with those las grat images on there branes.

An the way two dew that is to make shore that yer herow suffers threw the ENTIRE scrip and wen he reeches the end, hee's sowe beeten, it's like theres noway he can continew to defeet the bad guy.

But the herow, threw his loss an suffaring digs deep an has a Jesus moment an resurects two kick bad guy ass.

The kee hear is: suffer. And the "suffer" haz to esca-late til he cant take no more.

Hears ware i call bull an shit!

I jus suffered threw days of pain, humiliating sharts and barfs an, wile i bowed at the alter of my dripping and staned toylet, i wundered owt loud-- so lowd my mom yelled threw the vents telling me too shuddup-- why anwon wood wanna watch anuther human being suffer???

That's just crewl.

Sowe, for all of you smartee pants killing yer herow in watever "storee" yer riting-- just stop. Stop an bee a liddel more humain. K?

I think the wurld needs a liddel more luv. An wee shuld reeflect that in our moofies.

Sowe, insted of sum blasfamous resurecshun kwasi-raligus thing (after almos killin yer herow), find sumthing a liddel more reel, like a guy who wants two buy a new cell fone. And all the strangers he meet help him find his way two a cell fone stoer. And he buys this cell fone. And hees happee.

(Butt don't take that idea coz thats my newest scrip called CELL FONE: BASED ON A TREW STOREE).

No more suffaring!

More luv.

And remember, riters...--

Keep riting :-)