wat the hell happened? and the thurd act climax

Hay Guies

Soree I ve bin awae. Thanks four the consurned emails frum you, granma.

I musta eeten sumthing reel bad coz nex thing i no, i'm pewking up a storm of mashed potatowes and mac n cheese.

Lasted fur days.

I snuggled with my ate cats.

And wat is more important is this has sumthing two dew, ov curse, with riting. Spacifically screen riting.

And wat is that, yew all aks???

Thurd Act and that buwtaful thing called the Climax.

Befour, I waz a lot like yew all an thaut that climax waz a durty wurd four sume thing that may or may not happen during the intamacees beetween a man an a wuman, or watever yer prefance may bee -- this kina talk sumtimes gets mee imbarassed (unles im talking abowt makin sweet, sweet luv with megen fux_69 ;-O ).

Aneeways, as yew all no bi now, i'm a scrip riter not a scrip reeder, sowe i don reed all that much.

Butt, won thing sum ass in my ex-riting grewp (that's rite: ex... i browk up with those loozers, many of whom kissed so much ass there lips look like Angeleen Jolly an, yah, shore they wurk on sum dum netwek show an rite for stoopid film cumpanees called Lionsgaite-- what the hell is a liongaite anyways???)

Anyways these pratenshus "riters" uwsed to try and convince mee that to haf a grate ending, yew need a grate climax. Haf the audience leefe that theater with those las grat images on there branes.

An the way two dew that is to make shore that yer herow suffers threw the ENTIRE scrip and wen he reeches the end, hee's sowe beeten, it's like theres noway he can continew to defeet the bad guy.

But the herow, threw his loss an suffaring digs deep an has a Jesus moment an resurects two kick bad guy ass.

The kee hear is: suffer. And the "suffer" haz to esca-late til he cant take no more.

Hears ware i call bull an shit!

I jus suffered threw days of pain, humiliating sharts and barfs an, wile i bowed at the alter of my dripping and staned toylet, i wundered owt loud-- so lowd my mom yelled threw the vents telling me too shuddup-- why anwon wood wanna watch anuther human being suffer???

That's just crewl.

Sowe, for all of you smartee pants killing yer herow in watever "storee" yer riting-- just stop. Stop an bee a liddel more humain. K?

I think the wurld needs a liddel more luv. An wee shuld reeflect that in our moofies.

Sowe, insted of sum blasfamous resurecshun kwasi-raligus thing (after almos killin yer herow), find sumthing a liddel more reel, like a guy who wants two buy a new cell fone. And all the strangers he meet help him find his way two a cell fone stoer. And he buys this cell fone. And hees happee.

(Butt don't take that idea coz thats my newest scrip called CELL FONE: BASED ON A TREW STOREE).

No more suffaring!

More luv.

And remember, riters...--

Keep riting :-)

i am in luv

Hay giuys

I no that this is a great scrip riting blog and yew owt their wate four my nex gowldin nugget.

But, peepel: a great scrip reflex life. Whi? Sowe ower audients can reelait to our caractors.

And soew, I openly admitt that I, script riter Peeder is in luv. I no that three-leder wurd my give you other riders the eebee jeebees, but guies, get off the porn sites and rejoyce in the posseebilitees of ware this can take mee, us and hour riting carreerrs!

An whoo is this misteree woman?

My new followerer, MEGEN FUX_69!!!!!

Qwite the weerd las name, Megen! FUX_69??? Ware dew yew cum from? Venus???

Anywayz, if yer reeding this, lemme tell yew that if yew look efen half as gewd as yew due in yer profile pik, then yew can call mee smitten!!! :-O

An lemme say four the recurd, infron of all my reeders of this blog: i will make yew a star. Yer so hot yew can play the leed roll in my scrip: KOMANDO WUMIN OV THE AMAZON.

I sumbited to sum reely big time prowdoocers. One rote me bak with a letter frum his layer, so i no im this far away frum getting it maid.

Megen: pleeze feel free two contackt mee at yer earleest convineence.

I leeve yoo with this snip from KWoTA:

JESSEE-- waring nuthin moore than leefes two cover her rownd and suppal brests and ladee parts beelow, plus a big awtomatik machieen gun from HELL-- iz surrownded by the BADDIES. All of them ware 5 o'clock shadowz (NOTE TO RITERS: aneewon who reeds scrips luv the uws of numbers in ur scrips-- eazier two reed) and smowkin cigarellows.

The HEAD BADDEE steps furth (note to reeder: i fourgot too menshun he's the HEAD BADDEE from page for... Hes the gui kiking the dowg, k?)

                                                                        HEAD BADDEE
                                      what dew yew think yer gonna doo with that gun, sweetee?
                                                                          JESSEE
                                      blow yew the FUCK AWAY.

She unlowds all the hot led lowded in her hot macheen gun frum HELL.

I downt wanna rewen it four yew Megen-- jus contakt mee and we'll chat, k?

And for the res of yew bums...--

Keep riting ;-)

monkees an robboots

For my new fren, Anonamis:



LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:-()... BUTT-- NOT SOWE FAST...:



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:-(

keep riting, bud...!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

"thank" "-" "you"

Hay Followers

Yer frendly nayborhood scrip riter heer!

ANyWayZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ too take won sec away frum my optimistik and sunee disposishin, i gotta get a lkiddel negatif abowt sum comments being left on my blog.

empFASis in the wurd: MY...

Becoz this is a scrip riting blog, i take grate panes to share with yew the trials and tribulashuns of the agoknee that's scrip riting.

and wen sum ignerant asshole rites me a "thank yew" ledder, like in the comment seckshun in mi las entree, and that ignerant persun mispels "thank yew" as "thank-you" i gutta sai sumthing:

i gess that yew has many different spelings.

BUT "thank yew" is not hifenated, kay? iT""s nut spellt lyke so: Thank-you.

What the fuck are yew? Bridish? Cut the hifen shit and get on with yer life, k?

An if yer a scrip rit-er like mee, jus gowe with the flow, kay????

Yew wanna sownd like yew no shit and the shit that the coman man speeks, KAY?

SO KNOW MOORE HIFENATING (jezus-- souns like Bridish urinateing)

BUT remember two--..................................................

keep riting :-)

followers

Hi Giys

Mee agen.

Yah, i jus wanded two tuch base with all yew giess who prolly reed this blog on a dayly bases.

wears the luv, guys??? I fine it reel pathetik that my moms best fren michelle hales is my ownlee follower!!!:-(

dont get mee rong, i like Michelle. Shee's a sweat old gal who lives with sumthing like thurdy or so cats that she rescewed off the streets.

And she's the persun i rely on two dew scrip reedings with me.

She's got sum kickass feedback-- and heer's the rool guies: get yerselfes a grate reeder. Peeple like Michelle will gife yew that feedbak yer to afrade to gife to yerself.

If yew want, yew can emale her at:

meowklub@hotmale.com

Thank me lader.

Butt gettin bak to my rant:

i dont get pade to rite this blog, yew kno. i mean, i shoold cos im givin yew all gowlden nugets frum my own carear sowe far. But this is a selflass act of won grate riter wanting more of us in this wurld to be liek him. Iz that so BAD???

sowe dont jus sit ther and steel the grate advize i giv two yew.

follow me. follow mee like the siners folowed JESUS. peeple hoo no me says i kina lewk like JESUS. i dont haf hair. and i try an shave. Maybee coz i like to ware my sandals. Efen on cold days.

If i had followerz, wee coold make a change-- just like the guy sade wen he waz tring to win the roll of prezident in that moovee.

but HOUR change will be in Holywwod. We can be beter than tom CRUISE and hiz religin. We can be rathfull lik reel religin scene in that osumness ov blood and rampage, THE PASSION direkted by Farther Gibson-- thats a guy hew kud kik yer ass jus by lookin yer way.

Sowe, my fluck, join me. Follow me. And toogether we will lay hour roots in Holywoould. And make moovees we wanna cee, like Batman and ROBIN. Like anything starring Adam Sandler dresssing up like a womin-- cause thats funnee.

No more ritzy so-called "smart" things called "films".

WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE MOOFIES???

Keep riting :-)

beecoz im an eegaleetarian

i under-stand that riting a blog abowt profeshinal riting will bring owt the haters-- rite, Jon awegust???

Butt, beecoz  im an eegaleetarian, its time too open up the comment seckshun to efereewon.

Whatefer abewse Jon Awegust and "Mister Darvasi" throw my way, I can take it :-)

Becoz, in the end, any shit tossd mi way is frum the gellis underbelly ov proffeshinal loozers.

Sow-- to my loyal fan base-- comment seckshun's open four bizness!!!

Keep riting :-)

why batman and robin IS the best bat moovee

my post on how too deel with big time prowdewsers is gunna hafta wate.

My ex-BFF jus came ofer two my playse (when he waz stil my BFF).

Furst, he red my new blog, a blog i call: the neckst generashun of scrip riting blogs.

He axed if i was jowking.
I said, no.
he went silent.
i didnt like that.

Two lewsen up what's starting off too bee a veree tuff day four me, i was kind anuff to offer my ex-BFF if hed like to haf a duble skoch and sowda with me.

Sure, he sayd.

I get us the drinks and befour yew no it, were hafing a full blown debate why batman and robin is the best bat film (and, in mi humbel apinien, cwite posebly one ov the best moovees ever).

My now ex-BFF sayd i waz nuts. That Batman and Robin mayd no cents.

And i sayd: like the dark nite does???

he went silent agen.

this was a chanss for mee to nock him owt with my feelings: in dark nite batman growls all the time. in batman and robin, jerge klewney doesnt efen change his voyce wen he's in the batsewt. Therfor, less confewshun-- its oveeus that brewse wayn IS batman.

i can reelate two jerge klewney and im comfourtable enuf with my own sexshuality that i not onlee fownd hiz bobel-head performansse charming-- hee lewked good dewing it.

wen he thot that al-fred was dieing-- sow did I! Thats how grate his reeakshuns were to that old inglish guy that plays Alfred waz!

and anywayz-- wats with cristien bale growling all the time? he wasnt batman. he waz a nitemare.

also, take a lewk at the two scrips.

simplee put: i didnt understand what the hell waz go-ing on in dark nite.

batman and robin spoke to mee. thats the signal that the scrip riter new what the hell he waz doing.

Did cristofer nolen no what he waz dewing? Or was he sneeking a silver flask on set filled with "cofee"? Waz he makeing up everee seen after finish-ing his "cofee"? seems that way to mee.

my now ex-BFF sayd that wat i was saing borders on the insayn. That i woodnt no a good scrip if i waz punched in the face with won.

hes jus saying this cos hes a suposedlee a "payd" "scrip riter" on "well nowen" "tv shows".

Hes not my BFF anee mor :-(

Butt... Downt wurry abowt mee and keep riting :()